Patriot Report

Patriot Report






Thursday, October 23, 2003

Jackass Patriot in Hot Water

Patriot Offensive Lineman and amateur prankster Kenyatta Jones just could not hold it in any longer. While trusted administrative assistant, Mark Paul was biding his time on the hopper, Jones decided to move things along so to speak by scalding the longtime friend with boiling water.

The Boston Globe reports on Jones's appearance in court yesterday.

On the day he was to return to the team after a long medical absence, Jones pleaded not guilty to charges of assault with intent to maim, assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, and mayhem, a charge that carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison....Paul's attorney, Alec Sohmer of Brockton, said his client was sitting on a toilet when he thought he heard Jones heating something in the microwave, and was doused with hot water moments later...."This is completely out of the blue," Sohmer said. "Mark is in shock. He's in total shock."..."The motive is unclear," said Walpole police Lieutenant Scott Bushway. The attack, he aid, "seems to be completely unprovoked . . . but if you see the injuries, it appears to be a considerable amount of water."..Sohmer said that Paul and Jones spent Monday afternoon shopping for gifts for Jones's mother, who was on her way to New England from her home in South Florida.

Jones's little crapper stunt may have been inspired by Jackass the Movie. A similar incident landed an Ohio 13 year old in trouble last May. Click here for the full story.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Kill Bill

Uma Thurman might not be the only one aiming for revenge against a former employer named Bill. Nick Cafardo takes a look at two early leaders for NFL Coach of the Year.

Have there been two better coaching jobs in the NFL this season? In Dallas, Parcells has already matched the Cowboys' win total of each of the past three seasons at 5-1. Belichick, his team riddled with injuries, has taken a freshman/JV squad and turned them into varsity players before our eyes....Mr. Vermeil and Mr. Tice, nice job. But the two Bills have won consistently under extraordinary circumstances. One (Belichick) has done it with role players and rookies stepping up to become starters in the wake of terrible injuries. The other (Parcells) has taken the Bad News Bears of the NFL out of the ashes to the traditional excellence of Dallas football.

The Cowboys visit Foxboro on November 16th for a Sunday night showdown with the Patriots.

Michael Felger also takes a peek ahead to the Cowboy Down meeting and the Pats youth movement.

With the Patriots surging and the Cowboys the surprise team of the NFL through seven weeks, the drumbeat for their Nov. 16 meeting at Gillette Stadium (Tuna Bowl VII) is getting louder. And with Glenn rejuvenated, you can now throw another log onto the fire.

I thought the Tuna Bowl died with the Border War and Leon Hess?

Monday, October 20, 2003

Patriots Squish Fish in OT 19-13

The New England Patriots beat the division leading Miami Dolphins 19-13 in OT Sunday to take over first place in the AFC East. The Patriots victory hopefully softens a heartbreak week for New England Sports fans, but seeing that baseball diamond at Pro Player field brought back memories of Grady Little. Michael Smith has the game story for the Boston Globe.

Sooner or later, the hex, the curse, or whatever it was had to end. The streak had to end...Tom Brady threw an 82-yard touchdown pass to Troy Brown 9 minutes and 15 seconds into overtime yesterday at Pro Player Stadium to give the Patriots a thrilling 19-13 win -- New England's first in 14 visits to Miami in September or October -- only after Richard Seymour blocked Olindo Mare's attempt at a go-ahead field goal with two minutes remaining in regulation, Mare (the second-most-accurate kicker in league history) missed a 35-yarder in overtime wide right.

Must be a hangover from the Red Sox as Michael Felger of the Boston Herald has that c word in his game story.

At least one curse is over....The game-winner was a thing of beauty. With just under six minutes left in overtime, Brady faked a handoff, twirled, faked a slant, then stepped back in the pocket and lofted a perfectly thrown 82-yard bomb to a streaking Brown, who split the Dolphins' two-deep safety coverage with a post pattern.

Tom Curran in the Providence Journal looks at all the obstacles the Patriots continue to overcome(thankfully no curse references).

The quarterback who can't throw deep hit the receiver who's being overlooked for an 82-yard overtime touchdown....It seems there's only one four-letter word that offends this team. Can't.

"Everybody's telling them it's too hot down here, everybody's telling them they have too many injuries and they can't do this and they can't do that and they didn't buy it," said Patriots head coach Bill Belichick. "They just came down here and played their hearts out."

Leave it to Kevin Mannix of the Boston Herald to get some shots in at the Coach Belichick after the biggest win of the year.

There was a little less of that yesterday. Curious use of personnel at times. Some bizarre play-calling at the end of the game. Nothing as egregious as Grady Little's major gaffe against the Yankees, mind you. But given the fact that Bill Belichick and his staff has found a way to push all the right buttons at all the right times, it was unusual to see the players have to overcome their coaching staff as well as the opposing players.

Ron Borges has a great breakdown on the game winning touchdown.

When Brown ran a slant on the back side of the Dolphins' defense with 5:57 to play in OT, he and Brady believed he might get open and, if he did, he'd get open deep because he was matched up against two of the league's slower and most aggressive safeties. Knight and Marion are smart players and hard hitters. What they are not is fast or patient, so if Brady got time enough to wait for Brown the advantage would be New England's.

On the other side of the line of scrimmage, Armando Salguero of the Miami Herald reports on the blame game in Miami.

This 19-13 overtime loss is what happens when a Dolphins team has so much success leaning on its strong defense, it convinces itself the weaknesses on offense and special teams aren't really that pronounced.

And let's not forget a little blame for Olindo Mare.

Mare left the locker room and headed to his SUV without speaking to reporters -- apparently not wishing to discuss why his kicks were not fine.

Greg Cote in the Miami Herald blames the Florida Marlins for the loss.

You know that the variety of blame for a Dolphins home loss truly is all but limitless when those to blame include the Marlins...Playing this deep into October leaves the baseball infield on the football rectangle in the shared stadium, and it was from this hard, dirt surface that the usually reliable Olindo Mare had, well, a night-Mare.

Patriot nemesis Jason Taylor was doubled team most of the game and held in check. The Akita loving DE's frustration showed when he was flagged for oughing Brady in the second quarter after a hard shove and standing over Brady like a dog. Brady gave him a little shove before order was restored.

Email your comments and insults.

Main Menu



  • ne patriots homepage

  • boston globe

  • boston herald


  • pro football hall of fame



  • Description

    One man's take on the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots and a look at the lighter side of media coverage on the team and the NFL. Parody is not intended as grounds for libel


    08/31/2003 - 09/07/2003 09/07/2003 - 09/14/2003 09/14/2003 - 09/21/2003 09/21/2003 - 09/28/2003 09/28/2003 - 10/05/2003 10/05/2003 - 10/12/2003 10/12/2003 - 10/19/2003 10/19/2003 - 10/26/2003 10/26/2003 - 11/02/2003 11/02/2003 - 11/09/2003 11/09/2003 - 11/16/2003 11/23/2003 - 11/30/2003 11/30/2003 - 12/07/2003 12/07/2003 - 12/14/2003 12/28/2003 - 01/04/2004 01/04/2004 - 01/11/2004 01/11/2004 - 01/18/2004 01/18/2004 - 01/25/2004 01/25/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 02/08/2004 09/05/2004 - 09/12/2004 09/12/2004 - 09/19/2004 09/19/2004 - 09/26/2004 09/26/2004 - 10/03/2004 10/03/2004 - 10/10/2004 10/10/2004 - 10/17/2004 10/17/2004 - 10/24/2004 10/24/2004 - 10/31/2004 10/31/2004 - 11/07/2004 11/07/2004 - 11/14/2004 11/14/2004 - 11/21/2004 11/21/2004 - 11/28/2004 11/28/2004 - 12/05/2004 12/05/2004 - 12/12/2004 12/12/2004 - 12/19/2004 12/19/2004 - 12/26/2004 12/26/2004 - 01/02/2005 01/02/2005 - 01/09/2005 01/09/2005 - 01/16/2005 01/16/2005 - 01/23/2005 01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005 02/06/2005 - 02/13/2005

    Powered By


    visitors since 9/26/03